This. F***ing. Joke.

January 26, 2009

I’m sure I’m not the first cartoonist to comment on people saying this, but my rehiring at the grocery store where I worked work will continue to work until I die touched a nerve.  Several times in one day, actually.  If you’re reading this and think your little “free” bon mot is witty or original in any way, please stop before a cashier is compelled to leap over the conveyor belt and rip your windpipe out with their teeth.

Thank you.

Posted at 12:00 am. Follow responses to this comic with the comments feed. You can leave a comment or trackback from your own site.


  1. KamenRiderGumo says:

    I know the pain….three years at Kmart. This and the manager ended up breaking my soul (’til I went to college; that repaired it).

  2. zach says:

    ONe day, i will say this to someone who makes that joke at my job.

  3. The Inquisitive Mug says:

    What I used to do was responde immediately with “NO!!!!” and just have 5 seconds of silent eye contact, then, not breaking the eye contact, call for a price check.

  4. leon101 says:

    That’s why I say, “It’s not scanning huh… SO I’M NOT F***ING PAYING!”

  5. Tyler says:

    Words cannot describe how much I love this comic. I have a sinking feeling that I’ll be hearing this at least 5 times when I start working for the summer at my local Giant Eagle on thursday.

  6. Geisslers says:

    so true, kinda like the reciept man eh?

    yea I know you remember

  7. Nick says:

    Oh, I haven’t laughed that hard since the end of “Surrogates.”

  8. incognitocook says:

    Yep. I’ve been a cashier. I’ve also been a server. This is right up there with people who say “Oh, were not staying for the drawing” when you bring them their check. Everybody thinks they’re just SO @#&$#%&@ original!!!

  9. Rai says:

    I love that this comic exists. I’ve worked in retail for going on 3 years now primarily as a front end manager. So I hear this at least 10 times a day when I get a call on a price check. I never try to fake a laugh anymore, I usually just give a quick glare, and go back to checking the price. Some folks I find I am in a cheeky mood with and respond, “wow never heard that one before.” I also hear the, “just printed it this morning” response whenever I check for counterfeits. I usually say, “well good then I know it’s fresh.”

    I hated when I was new and had a name tag that said, “New Team Member” I would get a lot of, “wow what a unique name” remarks. After a few weeks I started responding with, “ya my parents were some real original hippies. The name is the only reason I got a job here, now they can save money and not have to make me a real name tag.”

  10. Ed Rhodes says:

    Oh yeah, that’s one of my favorites! Right up there with checking out a $20 ($50 or $100) and having the customer say; “Oh that’s good. I just made it this morning.” I’ve begun responding; “Really? You did an excellent job! I’ll be certain to pass this on to the Treasury Department so they can come around and compliment you on your handiwork!” So far, no one has taken offense.

  11. My response when I worked retail: “You have made The Joke. I am now obligated to kill you.” It actually worked pretty well. People got the message and were duly chastened.

  12. Robyn Slack says:

    I’m currently a delivery driver for a catering company. On the way into each building with a load of food, without fail, some random passerby will say something along the lines of, “Oh, you can just leave that with me.” Then, in the elevator, without fail someone will say something along the lines of, “Well at least if the elevator gets stuck we won’t starve.” Two lame jokes for every single delivery. And I die a little every time.

  13. Vega$ says:

    I was so good at checking, I would punch in the UPC on the register before anyone could use that lame joke on me. Now the lady with the lampshade on her head that said the barcode reader would alter the molecules inthe bottled water, she caught me off guard. =)

  14. M. Void says:

    Who else works for “Slave”way? A mindless drone to the masses, ball ‘n chained to the work table or cash register, listening tot he most retarded customer complaints while putting on your best fake smile and wishing them a HORRIBLE day inside… as well as the power tripping management, ohhhhhhhhhhh yea, that too.

  15. J-Kitty says:

    You are my hero… i hear this so many times.. from so many people… I’ve actually got roughly 5 graveyards of dead bodies because of it.

  16. Sparky says:

    Ahaha oh man do I know where you’re coming from with that one.

  17. MikeDB says:

    And this is why I don’t make those jokes. Even good jokes turn annoying after the millionth time.

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